Gogofo - no longer piecing 2nd BD - pt. 2

[gogofo]

Had a good Friday night and Saturday night, doing some GAL stuff instead of just reading self help books and worrying about my situation.

Friday I went out to dinner with my mom and dad and brother for his birthday. It was really nice, we had not been together as just the four of us in years. The MIL took the kids to their house for the weekend so I stayed out way too late with my brother. It was a pretty good time.

Today I slept in and was kind of slow and slightly down so I called around and found one of my friends as we took off out of town for an auto show. I was proud of going because I had been working on getting a couple of other friends to go and some couldn't go and others didn't want to. I was about to give up and stay home, but all I would probably have done was lay on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I didn't like this and I don't want to be that person so I kept brain storming and found a solution rooted in action and having fun! Good for me for not giving up (a small victory for one of my goals/180s).

It was good fun and we talked quite a bit. It had been a while since we had got together, he was one of my childhood friends and a roommate in college. He is a lawyer and shot me a recommendation for the best D lawyer in the area.

I got a phone call from the W, we had an offer on our house and had about 5 hours to accept, reject, or counter. Not going to lie, my heart and stomach sunk when the offer came in. I thought this would have been an exciting event, but it just felt like another nail in the D coffin. Kind of bummed me out and put in a little funk. Snapped out of it for a while, looking at all too expensive vehicles can do that. Who can't smile while looking at a Ferrari?

When we left and it was time for dinner I got down again because my W and I had great times eating in this city. Just seemed bitter sweet. But my buddy and I had a good time and talked all the way home. We actually talked about life stuff and not mundane things like sports or cars, etc. It was nice to talk to someone who has a W and kids and can understand things in your life easier than my friends that have no kids, just date, and still live with their parents. He even helped convince me that IC was a good idea last year. He talked about his sessions and how they helped him with some of his issues.

I think overall I did well and am trying to stay up and positive. Don't want to dwell too much on this latest bomb. I am sure I will read some more tonight in bed and try to get mentally strong to move my things to the basement and prepare for the return of my W tomorrow night.

I am trying not to mind read or expect any kind of action or words from her; good, bad or indifferent. Trying to believe in me and feel strong.