WAW Dating - Oh noes!!..

[LoveMyW]

Hello LoveMyW. I think you're doing fine. You do GAL. You speak cordially with W when she contacts you. You ask no questions. You don't initiate any contact with her. You occupy your mind. It sounds like you take your W's insults and moods with class. Nothing else to do. I don't think you should be watching your W for reactions to you now. Doing that too much sets you up to have expectations which she will disappoint. Be thankful your W is not contacting you. You get a chance to detach from her and that is what she needs to see. Keep going.

Sorry for the delayed reply HP.. I only just noticed that you had commented..

Yes, I do try to speak cordially to her when we communicate, and GAL has been a big thing to helping me get out of the rut..

No, I do not initiate any contact unless it regards the kids or financial matters, and asking questions only leads to bigger issues haha!!.. I found that occupying my mind has taken a while, but I have finally got in to that zone..

I'm still getting the hang of dealing with her moods and insults etc, but I am definitely getting better at it!!.. It has taken a while for the advice in the books and on the board to sink in!!..

I understand what you are saying about looking for reactions.. I suppose the only reason I am is because we get told "do what works" and although the reactions I am receiving aren't all 100% positive, they are reactions all the same, but I can't tell whether they are "working" reactions or "change path" reactions..

You are right about her not contacting me helping me detach.. It has made life easier I must admit.. Another side effect of LC/NC is that she thinks I now have a GF.. It's a laugh for me I must admit!!..

Thanks again for the insight HP!!..