Today is not the day I quit. No matter what, I can handle whatever happens today. Tomorrow, I might change my mind, but today I do not quit.
Thanks for this Cat.
TO: As I mentioned I am hanging with you this week. As Cat mentions, you might not have been ready to reconcile nor H. I can tell you, I thought we were ready back in 2008 and we did start the path and bc we had 6 years of personal turmoile (miscarriage, baby death, family illness) we had great years...the heaviness of our life actually brought us together. But when it settled, the same issues came up again...we applied DB during our un happy times and it was natural, but happy times we went back to our old ways.
Nothing is more important now to me (and maybe H) to get this right and break the cycle. I am trying to give him all the space he needs, which includes him staying at another place every night, which I trust is our other home 2 hours away. He says it is, but I am not asking. Killing me--you bet. Behind the scenes: I am also hoping that H calls our DB Coach and then we will have a joint call with DB coach. I am not re-asking if H has scheduled with DB Coach. Again, these are hard for me as I am very impatient and H and I both like to fix things. I now know the true hard work is beginning.
One thing I am working on, what is what is needed, to let him have an equal voice in this relationship. I do this with H as much as I can, which is not that much right now.
Quote:
So more than anything, I urge you to continue to work on your stuff and let him work on his stuff and give the marriage the time it needs to heal. And understand more than anything that it is going to be one step forward and two steps back for a while. And that is ok.
Let us know what you think about if you came back too soon and what you think of the above advice from Cat.
