I actually thought the PREMISE of the thread was a good idea. Not necessarily the original topic, but the premise that men need (just like women do) a place to talk to other men about how men view things. And the beginnings of some interesting conversations were begun there. Sadly, now, they are gone.
There's truth in that but as we know, sadly, many people can't moderate themselves and that's why internet msg boards have moderators.
Thanks, dbmod and Virginia for doing an often thankless job!
Since I only read 3 posts on the first page and Mach's post I don't know the details and don't need to, but did other posters try to moderate, create boundaries or was it a general free-for-all? (don't want to know names)
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Because of the way the original topic was posted there were no ground rules. There were some efforts made to bring a little structure to the discussion but then the pot would get stirred by the OP and the conversation would break down. The OP would threaten to take the thread down, then there would be a cooling off period where a couple of guys would try to bring the tension down by making jokes about their favorite guy foods. Then the cycle would repeat.
At the end the OP started insulting people's manhood and it was just mayhem the last I saw.
It's too bad it fell apart because it would have been really enlightening to be a fly on the wall of how guys talk about things. Lost opportunity.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Since I only read 3 posts on the first page and Mach's post I don't know the details and don't need to, but did other posters try to moderate, create boundaries or was it a general free-for-all? (don't want to know names)
Believe it or not, most of the stuff at the beginning that could have been inflammatory was basically ignored and a few of the "newer" men had some interesting thoughts and questions regarding the topic of "Mr. Nice Guy" vs "arrogant jerk" and is there a middle ground... A few other things were attempted to be discussed but didn't really go far...
And then it got ugly. And only one person stooped to a level that was uncalled for from what I saw.
What I have generally seen around here is that unless there is direct character attacks or really really offensive stuff, the mods will generally let it go.
We are all adults and should be able to act accordingly. One poster commented that these boards don't seem to have as much conflict as other forums and personally, I think that is a wonderful thing.
It is very ok to have differing viewpoints and it's one of the things we learn to accept here and well as how to hopefully discuss those things without getting worked up and nasty...And I guess that is evident in the posts.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
It is very ok to have differing viewpoints and it's one of the things we learn to accept here and well as how to hopefully discuss those things without getting worked up and nasty
Much of my growth here has been this ^^^
I was so fearful, insecure, rigid, reactive I couldn't tolerate viewpoints other than my own. (you may recall )
Just being able to observe: "That's their VP, doesn't have to be mine but let me think about it" or "This is my VP based on my life experience and my needs. Others may differ" decreases anxiety and opens up so many possibilities.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
It's a shame about the man cave. I was in there and posting. I totally missed the melt down / flame out. I think it is a great idea and I think that if it is handled properly it could really be beneficial.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
)