And for now his answer has you feeling a bit better which is a wonderful thing.
Here is the thing that I see that bothers me the most (and I see it because I have experienced it)...neither of you were really ready to reconcile. When that is the case it makes the work that much harder.
You were never really detatched, you had only begun to feel better about your situation and that was due more to some external validation than anything else IMO. (Which isn't always a bad thing.)
So if neither of you were ready, and problems weren't resolved or really even begun to be worked on by either of you, then after the honeymoon period was over, it easily went back to the way it was pre bomb.
So more than anything, I urge you to continue to work on your stuff and let him work on his stuff and give the marriage the time it needs to heal. And understand more than anything that it is going to be one step forward and two steps back for a while. And that is ok.
I am not saying be a doormat. What I am saying is day by day.
A friend of mine had a mantra that he used every day and others borrowed over the years...I think it is appropriate in this situation...
Today is not the day I quit. No matter what, I can handle whatever happens today. Tomorrow, I might change my mind, but today I do not quit.
(nickle bonehead )
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
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