Regarding OM comparisons: Since I snooped I actually got insight on everything (reading text of her and best friend). Which I am by the way not proud of but it at least clarified my situation which was a huge relief and now I stop snooping.
Let me tell you this: compare yourself to her first and what you would share or talk about with your buddies, like sexual attraction and bs'ing around. Would you read much into that yourself? I read her text and I freaked out taking everything word by word. Until people here opened my eyes. Yes there is truth in what W said. But we are humans. We get ourselves into thoughts constantly and we mess around with our friends, even if it's morally not right.
Long speech..BUT when it comes down to the really important things in life, your soul will be in control and things are in a different light. Same counts for plain "appeal" of someone who looks "better" or "worse" than you. IT DOESNT MATTER. It's superficial. Nothing matters but you. Don't go that way. I am trying to blend OM completely out. Easier said than done. 180 !!!!
Me 32 (German) Wife 28 T 3yrs M 2yrs Moved to US for W No kids BD 6/2014 In house separation Confirmed EA 1/2015 (ongoing since BD) OM not ready Real D talk started 1/27/15