Always appreciative of the vets around here - and everyone else too. No I am not the bad guy. I need to stop letting him make me feel that way. I would love things to change right now but they don't Have to. I have been through so much already what's a couple more months
I fully expect some major 2x4s for my behavior tonight. However, my mom the boys and I had a wonderful time at dinner and late night bowling. Then my mom took the boys to stay the night with her. H actually showed up at bowling. I was surprised.
Before my mom got out here I had to meet H at the bank to deposit some money. He forgot to make his portion of the house payment which resulted in me driving up to the bank at 745 (transactions post if made by 8 that day) to make sure the money got in for the house payment (we have never been late in 10years). So needless to say I was pretty frustrated. Well he got out to meet me and I after greeting him with a hello mustered up saying ---- do you even want to be in this marriage? I cannot and will not live like this ... I know you are going through a lot but so am I. I just can't keep doing this any longer.
He said he does want to be in this marriage but he's depressed. Hes never been this broke in his life and that's why he made the appointment for IC Monday to get help in dealing with issues but not alienating me. I told him I can't be shut out of his life anymore. I Want to help him but I don't know how to and that I hope he can figure it out. I didn't cry, I didn't yell. I was calm cool and collected. He was mostly full of I'm stressed and depressed answers.
Anyway we both came home and luckily my mom was already there. H staged home to shower and we left. He ended up meeting us at my moms. I got a kiss hello, during bowling, goodbye. I know it's trivial but this is a big improvement from even yesterday.
Anyway. I know I will get 2x4s but it was the best way I could have a conversation. Now who knows what tomorrow will bring but going to bed tonight I feel better than I have in weeks.
