I am new to your sitch, 854 posts is too many for me to go through plus you already seem to have some great advice coming in at you.
Let me say that when my wife came back I made it clear that I would be checking up on her. She would have to accept this as part of the deal or no go. I wasn't the one who betrayed trust I was the one who needed to trust her again. so to that end she KNEW I would be looking at her phone, and I wasn't even going to be sneaky about it.
Reconciliation is great...but without boundaries and establishing some groundwork for it? Relaying on it just working out after a betrayal...is not the best idea.
You husband should be trying to win your trust back, he lost it, he should want you to fix it...and it takes time. Trust is one of the hardest thing to regain. IF he is unwilling to let you check up on him, there is a problem...conversely if he is willing to let you check up on him it is your job over time to stop looking as long as he keeps showing you there isno reason to doubt him.
It takes some time. AND a very in depth conversation about what will be happening.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
