You guys are all exactly right. I know I need to breathe and chill out which is exactly why I post here first because if not I'm afraid I may call H and say something I will regret.
I did send a text earlier today. I was feeling happy and figured you know what I love him we can figure this out. Everything will work out for us together. Ugh!
Me : hey H, hope you're having a good day H: thank you, I hope you are too.
I didn't say anything further.
I'm planning on being gone when he gets home. I'll probably send him a courtesy text saying the boys and I are at X we will be home later.
I know this isn't going to fix itself over night and I am being impatient. I just want to know he's going to try. But that's his choice. I have to let go of that. I will do nothing for a week. It's going to be a long week. I have always struggled with friendly and as if vs ignoring. I never quite got it all the way.
I've been these last couple weeks being quiet, no texting (unless it's a response).
I know what fear is driving me ... I pick up on every little thing. He doesn't call me babe anymore if we do talk on the phone. He still doesn't touch me. His kids goodnight feels forced etc etc. And the biggest fear.... Back in Feb of last year a couple weeks after BD... We went to MC together - where he didn't say he wanted D but said he felt like we were going in different directions. We were supposed to go back in a week. He wouldn't go. Instead made an appointment for himself.
This is driving me crazy because he didn't say he wanted a D in Mc last week but said he didn't know what he wants and made an appointment for himself. I just feel like I'm reliving last year
I am sorry I sound so weak. I am working on getting ahold of myself
