I just sent a long handover email to my W because D6 and D3 had some issues this week. D6 has done a bit of bullying at school and D3 is not cooperative at the daycare. She was pleased with the email and after the exchange was over, she sent me a follow-up:
"Do the girls talk about me when I'm not there? Do you think they misbehave because I'm not there? What's your diagnostic?"
I don't want to read too much into it, but it's the first time she shows any concern for the impact of the S on the girls. She had even told me not to tell her if the girls complained about her absence. I had complied and I now realize it has the upside of her imagining all sort of awful things I don't tell her . As for asking my opinion, it's not even new in the sitch: she always thought I'm a good father and called me before because she was overwhelmed.
I replied right away, no games, no calculations. I certainly didn't guilt her because I don't think it has anything to do with the S. I feel oddly detached.
And I also realize that while I cut off all communications outside of the kids, I can still be funny and engaging about that bit and she'll see even more what she's missing outside of it.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
. As for asking my opinion, it's not even new in the sitch: she always thought I'm a good father and called me before because she was overwhelmed.
