last night I could not stay in the apt and just had to find someone to talk with - tried calling SIL but no answer and ended up going over to the church where C use to go with SIL and her H (who is the music director there) found him there working with the church choir on an upcoming easter special and hung around til he was through practicing. then we talked just a bit and I found that he had the neice and nephew downstairs so we went down to pick them up. got a good hug from nephew but when neice finally saw me she took just a few seconds and her face slowely developed a big smile and then she just ran over and gave me a big hug. I picked her up and her arms went tightly around my neck and she seemed to hold on for dear life. We went to the car and buckled them in and then he sat in my car for about 5 minutes and we talked some - told him that I did not want them to get in the middle of C and I but that I just needed to talk with someone for a few and thanked him for listening. As I drove home SIL called on my cell and said she had noticed I called and we also talked for a few. Did find out that they had been watching big B while C was out of town and was expecting her to pick him up later that night so she will likely be online later today. The plan is still no initial contact from me.
Still though, the big hug from niece was very much worth the trip over there. If things don't work out between C and I then I will greatly miss that little girl.
