While I would love to be a friend and for her to be a friend to me - I get the feeling that to her being a friend may mean talking with me about her activities w/ OG. Then she keeps saying that she does not want to keep hurting me so she feels that she can have no contact.
I like doing things with her but when she ends the day with starting to talk about me watching puppy while she goes away for weekend w/ OG it has a tendency to kill my happy mood.
I do talk about a Friendship R and what that means - one friend does not intentionally do or say things that they know would hurt the feelings of their friend. I told her that I felt that what she said those several Sundays ago was done intentionally just to hurt my feelings. She has never denied that statement.
After she made those statements on that Sunday, I asked her what she wanted in a friendship with me and what she wanted me to be to her. after some discussion she said that she had wanted our friendship to work because we had a good time together. (well, I had wanted our M to work because we had a good time together - I did not say that to her)
We will see if she is online today - (just out of curiosity) I will not initiate contact if she is on but I do hope she wants to find out how Cookie is.
Well, coffee is gone and I had better get to work.
PS - also, I got a feeling that she felt that the last time we talked (last Wednesday night) I was really down, (I was some) and she felt that my quiting AD's cold turkey (after on 5 weeks on them) had that effect and that may be why she wanted to know when I was going to see the counselor again (April 13 [also when I am going back to my MD]) and to wait til later to talk about us - Wednesday she had told me that she was tired of fighting for her business and was burned out. I told her that I knew what she ment as I was tired of fighting too. She said well your business seems to be back on track and I said I was tired of fighting for other things. she replied "fighting with me?" and I said no - not fighting with you but fighting for you. I give up and agree with you that it is over. that is when she asked when I was going back to the Counselor and to wait til then.
