Maybe it's possible to feel unconditional love, acceptance for their decision, all that commitment to change...the desire to leave the door cracked if they want to come back...
And still feel a good strong reserve of "eff it, I deserve more than this s***, and it's up ahead for me." It's what keeps me going lately, that and imagining an equally lost soul or manic pixie dream girl he's looking for, the same miserable dynamic he'll write all over a new relationship bc he's not changing (ever see the movie Take This Waltz? Netflix)... I imagine a life ahead falling in an exciting new love with someone who has some grit, determination and positivism - and suddenly I'm very ok with whomever he might be dreaming of.
It eases some of the hurt and anger anyway. We can all dream of being treated better, not just them. Hugs.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
