Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #6

[HPoirot]

Hello Sandi. Thank you for your help here and I agree. She wants more friendliness as she says for S12's sake but mostly b/c she can feel better by keeping her family despite her decisions. It doesn't help anything if I'm so angry that S12 is hurt so I have to keep our co-parenting relationship positive.

So yes again to what you've all been saying all along... just keep it friendly. I just saw her and was polite and brief. Just a good morning and a wave goodbye. I could have been more upbeat. It was just fine for now and I can keep doing it.

I can be friendly now while still pulling way way back. I realize my anger and the last R talks were very bad pursuing so I'm just going to keep up the no pressure politeness. That will make her more invisible in my life so I can really move on.

I also see that yesterday she interpreted my "I'm moving forward" text as I'm going to file D imminently. I see she's only scared that I'll do it without her input. I won't be the one to file... but yes I will act as if I already am D and just keep it moving.

My W again did not look attractive at all when I saw her this morning.

And then my OW from 5 years ago called on her morning walk. Took a picture of the ocean so I could see her view. She knows I love the water... we used to swim together. My W can't swim.

We talked for a while just about her and her busy life. About home prices where she lives. She made a little fun of her H. I found myself automatically validating her and really listening. Did not talk about my sitch at all. Second time she called me this week. It again was wonderful to hear from her. I see the problem. I'm being careful.

Tonight is S12s basketball game. I'll go and be polite to my W as if she's another mom there. I'll act as if I'm there by myself and enjoy the game.

Then I have the whole weekend to myself. I want to restart work on my side business. I think I will start working on my new "successful man" wardrobe. No more jeans and a sweatshirt for me.

On with my day then.

Good luck to all of us.

Onward.