KGirl - one year later con't

[KGirl]

Thanks for checking in periodically, Pink! I appreciate your compliments I do think it's time to explore things I didn't think I was able to do before and make the most of them. Even little things... like earlier this week I had something at work I just wanted to stay late and finish, but in the past I was pretty strict about leaving at a set time, mostly so I could start dinner before H got home. I realized "wait, I can do whatever I want! If I want to stay an extra half hour so I have some peace of mind, so be it!" The fact that we shared a car prevented me from doing a lot of things. I had wanted to volunteer at the humane society at one point but the shifts started at 5pm, and H didn't get done with work until 5:30 or later (he never felt the need to be home at a certain time...), and I had to drive there, so I couldn't do it. Now I can actually do ANYTHING I want to, at any time. It's very freeing.

At this point I don't really feel angry anymore. I think "disappointed" is the right word for how I feel. I'm disappointed in the choices H made and how he handled this. I'm not going to say it was "wrong" because that's all relative and it may have been the best thing for him to do. At least he did not sneak away in the middle of the night with his bags. He's been apologetic. Honestly, if he came to me right now and said "I screwed up, I want you back" I think I would just stare at him befuddled. I don't even know what I would do with that. I do want a partner/spouse but it seems H was not cut out for that. Perhaps he never was and I just didn't want to see it because it was easier to just keep dating him instead of dealing with being single or trying to date other people.

No more contact with cute police officer guy! *sigh*. My friends say they will try and plan a get-together soon. I've added a brewery tour to my long list of activities this weekend... and a bridal fair. I may have mentioned I have several weddings coming up - my sister is getting married in August, and my close friend who just moved here is getting married in June, and I am a bridesmaid in both. I am to the point where going to bridal fairs and wedding dress shopping does not make me sad. I can think about things from my wedding somewhat fondly or at least talk about them when relevant as I'm helping them plan the wedding, so I think that's a good sign.

On the actual D front, H has still not sent me any information about what to do next. I am certainly capable of looking it up myself and have, and will probably consult with a friend who has recently done this on her own about how to fill out some of it. For example, the next form asks you to list everything you currently own yourself or jointly own, and who will take possession of it after D. How detailed do you get?? It makes sense to list out big things like furniture, but what about.. pots and pans? kitchen gadgets? towels? I don't know, that would be an awful long list and a little ridiculous. We will also have to do taxes for 2014 and I am not looking forward to that. I would be willing to take a hit to file married but separately, but maybe I should just suck it up and work with him on it. It will be hard to split up who should get what % of the refund, though, since it's really not 50/50.