Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #6

[TLEE86]

So, if I, like you say, settle for occasional friendship, conversational relationship, and family events without any expectations while just being friendly but not friends about it... does that help me grow and help my R goal? That seems to go with what DB Coach Chuck said. Slowly create more emotional connection as that is what she really wants.

My doing the hardline LRT/NC has been hard on all of us with my anger/irritation over her texting and changing schedules and her sadness/anger/cursing over her transition failure. I think I've had only 1 full day where I have not heard from her so that's fail.

I have said it before but I agree that you taking the hardline approach definitely seems to not lead to a path of R, but continues to cause anger and irritation within yourself.

I actually asked myself this exact same question today. Does being friendly and conversational to W help grow and enable R by creating a more emotional connection? Because it does seem like W wants it. My DB Coach said the same thing. Be friendly and conversational. Be her friend for now. Though Sandi hit the nail on the head, how long are you willing to endure the infidelity and at what point are you giving her the best of both worlds?

The question I have for you HP is, can you really be friendly consistently? Or are you still in a place where you may have a blow up sometime because you are angry (understandably). Small, consistent actions will be noticed. If you don't think you are able to consistently be light and friendly, it may be worthwhile to wait a little bit until you are able to do that.