My .02 on a few topics for you to think about. You say that you're not being pushy about the fact that you are standing for themarriage but that you immediately "pressed" when the relationship came up on your phone call last night. YOur husband knows how you feel. If he initiates any R talk than you need to just be quiet, let him drive the conversation and really listen to what he might have to say. You aren't doing yourself any favors by "pressing" him on the subject.
You think he wants to you to get a full time job so he can divorce you, and then you think he wants to divorce you but is on the fence. Lorelai- you are spending far too much energy, time and emotion trying to figure out what he is thinking right now. I know its easy for me to say - but you need to turn that focus inward.
Work on making your life more comfortable. Focus on getting that job that will work for you. Some of your posts seem to radiate a fair amount of stress and anxiety. Believe me I know its tough with two small children in the house. If you need help from your H in this area, state your needs simply and plainly.
You need to listen to those that are telling you its a marathon and form some resolve that you will meet the challenges that life will be throwing at you with calm and dignity.
Focus on you and your children and it will get better.
