newcomer now receives mail in Hell

[bravo61]

hey Jack,
thanks so much for the reply. for the record its not Dawson's Creek. i've graduated from a teen show to a girl show (Downton Abbey).

i just didn't know if this was positive or not. i know the concern for the friend zone is pretty rampant around here. i have made it clear to her from the beginning that i will never be "just friends".

also early on during the begging/pleading stage. i laid out for her how a reconnection would look to me (she asked for specifics). i told her that we would take time getting to know one another hence building trust. examples were given of spending time together so she could be sure that i was not the same man. time taken SLOWLY and not rushed or pressured by me (ie temp checking, unwanted physical touching). i also stressed that the kids would not be told until it was on a very firm footing.

positives: i only cry every once in a while;
the kids and i are really close;
i've got a much better attitude about life in general, like going on adventures and trying new things;
i don't hate her;
getting plugged into church and MUCH closer relationship with God;
learned and practicing unconditonal love and teaching that to my kids;
she's receptive and intiates hugs;
she seems to like it when i kiss her forehead;
learned patience;
anger is no longer an issue;
she's not dating yet

negatives: we're still divorced;
memories sometimes come in waves;
kids say things to her she sometimes blames on me;
she's surrounded herself with questionable characters;
she rarely talks to me on the phone;
she's painted me as a monster (would make it harder to reconcile);
oh yeah, AND WE'RE DIVORCED!

doing the best i can to be a better man. any suggestions for me or my sitch would be greatly appreciated!