Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #6

[sandi2]

So I'm thinking of doing the February Essential Experience Workshop.

Good for you. I have heard 25 yrs praise it highly.

I do hope you can find balance, HP. I agree that your anger is eating up most of your energy and the inconsistency keeps you frustrated.

I do have a suggestion, however. In these contacts with your W, you do not have to contend with her verbal disrespect. As soon as she starts raising her voice, or says something to cause your anger to rise, interrupt and say, "I am going to hang up now". It takes two to fight, so if you can be strong enough to listen to warning sirens blowing.......you can end it in it's tracks. Don't slam the phone down, but tell her you are ending the call and then put the receiver down. As much as she craves conversation with you, she will eventually learn she can scream and curse at you or you will end it.

I have noticed when she has a call from S12 that isn't to her liking, she immediately calls you and vents her anger or frustration. Usually, you are as upset as your son with her, so it doesn't end well. Perhaps you could address this with her (when the timing is good) and ask if she will agree not to call you immediately following an upsetting talk with her son. Present it as a better co-parenting skill, or a better communicating relationship between the two of you......or whatever, but it is clearly a bad habit she's forming that needs to stop. Even scheduling a set time once a week to discuss all her concerns with S12 would seem better, b/c it would give both of you time to settle down.
However, even as I write this, I really doubt she could stick to not texting of some alternative to calling.