And you are so right that the waiting period is precisely because many couples cool off and change their minds. Several people I know personally in fact.
Would you care to elaborate? I'm always interested in how these stories work. And the mere fact that they exist...
Here's one, for the gallery. I know this couple personally, from some 12 years ago, and got the story from both of them, separately. They went through a S about 4 years ago, just as another couple in this group of friends had D. Their S was a shock to everyone. Their couple is just like mine: he's from my country and she's from another continent. They had two young kids. Really similar.
What had happened is that she went to a conference abroad and met this guy. I don't know the details, but she shared very personal experiences with him over a drink and the lad said the exact right thing at the exact right time. She felt a connection that she never felt in her M. She came back home and told about it to her H. He didn't even recall the life-changing experience in question. Something snapped in her: my H doesn't get me and there are other men out there who do. She asked for a break.
He moved out and they shared custody of the kids. He was crushed, much like us, but he didn't DB, just went "natural". He thought it was over and she'd reassure him it was just a break. He was showing her his pain. They'd be in very regular contact, seeing each other several times a week. They talked a lot. Some days, she wanted him back, some days not. She went to another conference or two where she met OM again. I think she realized he was not a realistic option (he's from yet another country).
Back home, she started doing more family activities with her H and kids. After about six months, they started acting as a family more, but they were not reconciled. They spent the Holidays together but it wasn't clear that they were back together even then. It took another six months before they gradually decided to piece and moved back together. Since then, they have moved to her continent and they continue piecing. They both say it's hard. It's been two years, I think.
A crucial part of her decision was when she realized that were she to find a new partner, she'd be looking for someone exactly like her H. There was also a factor of keeping the family together and full time access to her kids.
There was no D and there was no DBing in it, but I thought it would be uplifting for some to read a success story. I know people around me all seem to have several such stories. I'm especially interested in the mechanisms and reasons behind the reconciliations.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
