Trust in you, S. Believe in you. You will be happy again if you choose to be. Finding joy in your life is a choice. It doesnt hinge on him. It really doesnt. Because the thing is that in order to love you have to love you. In order to feel joy, you have to look within.
If you put all of that on him, it is a terrible burden. If you do that, you do yourself a disservice. You wont ever be fufilled if your happiness is contingent on someone else. You just wont.
Someone should enhance our life, not determine it.
Find you, S. Find your worth. Find what makes you laugh. Who do you want to be? Be that person every day. Some days you make it, some you dont, but that should always be the goal.
You will get through this and come out the other side if you do the work. I promise you that. It is going to be hard, I am not going to lie. But man, the rewards are amazing.
Leave him to himself, S. Let him figure himself out. You work on you.
COme on now, you can do this.
Ss,
UR is one of the people who pulled me through the past year and a half or so. She is so wise...and knows that she is talking about. I used to read her words. Copy and Paste them to read again and again....but I wasn't on the other side yet...and didn't know if I'd ever get there.
Today, I can tell you from the other side (mostly...LOL) that you will get here, too. And it is AMAZING over here.
It is so, so, so important that you find happiness within YOURSELF and not your H. It's hard to get there. But, when you finally do, nobody can take that peace and happiness from you....you are so worth it.
I read your "fears" above and yeah, I had many of those, too. Guess what? I don't anymore. When you really start to see that you are going to be okay, no matter what, that there is a beautiful, wonderful life waiting for you, married to H or not.....that's when it starts getting so good.
