Married fast? Too late? Completely stuck :/

[25yearsmlc]

Dear Complex,

I'm so sorry you are here, but this is the best place to be, for a sad reason. Also, despite your screen name, I don't think you'll find that your situation is too complex, in the following way.

Even though each situation is unique, there are several common themes. That's why many people will relate to your situation. I'm just trying to say, Div Busting CAN help you, even if you think it's "too complex" or "too little, too late."

But remember this. Divorce Busting SOUNDS as if it's all about saving your marriage. But it's not.

We find that if you save yourself, first, you might be able to save the marriage too. And if not, you as an individual will still be much better off.

And without saving yourself, (being authentic, strong, healthy, etc) you won't save this marriage or any other. So, first things first.

Let's take care of YOU.

Holy ....

My wife goes showering. She accidentally left her phone. Since she told me she doesn't text him on whatsapp I look at her regular texts.....and I find everything!!!!

Some people find this^^ helpful, I'm not one of them. But if you are, then so be it. See, I don't get the obsession about an affair b/c you already knew she wanted out and seemed resolute.

Here's the thing. If you KNOW that an affair is an absolute deal breaker for you, then by all means, you should snoop and verify and then leave...

With this^^ exception, Div Busting does NOT support snooping. In other words, if you wanted to work on the marriage, regardless of whether she is having an affair, then why bother finding out the gory details?

To ME, it seems like a lot of needlessly painful gross...stuff. blech!

But if you are the type who wants "all of it out there" and it's not to shame or punish her, (which will FAIL) but just to....know, then I can only hope you have a strong stomach and won't feel even worse.

No matter what you discover, though, know that you really will be alright. You really will survive this. Life really will get better for you.


She was texting him everyday. They have an EA. It's not physical regarding to the texts. But it's very clear they are flirting heavy.

She came to get her phone and I didnt even pretend...she saw me with it and it all blew up.

I'm shaking. What should I do???

I'll post more a little later....