MLCer and EA w/ OW

[Jer2911]

PS
So give your w something to miss. Not a sad miserable stbx, but a loving FAMILY & home life...AND a great catch (i.e. you)

and children who love her deeply. If her eyes are open (and they will be, in time)

then how can OW ever really compete?

She can't compete, ( not once the fog has lifted, anyhow.)

Make sense?

Makes sense completely... thanks for the reminder about this point. I was doing better at this a few weeks ago, but in the past couple of weeks it's been difficult because W has been in major monster mode for the past couple of weeks. Not that I've been acting sad and miserable, but I've certainly not been warm and friendly... In my IC I am working on being who I want to be (that person who does provide a warm, loving home for all of us) despite what kind of mood W is in when she gets home from work. I need to get back to working on this... Being the change I want in our home regardless of what I might be feeling on the inside.

On that point -- I did go out to be with friends last Friday night and when I got home she did ask if I had a good time and I said yes, named some of the friends I saw, and behaved like I felt -- super happy after having a good evening with friends. Monster started to emerge in W and she was in monster mode the next day... So it does seem that it does affect her when I do appear to be happy and doing okay in spite of what is going on.

Can OW compete? Heck no! I am a great catch and no one (other than my W pre-MLC) can provide our kids with the deep love and affection that I can. I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better -- I truly do believe that I am a great catch and that I can be a strong, loving partner/wife and mother for our family. OW can't compete with that because she doesn't have the life or relationship experience to understand how to make all of this work on the level that I can. OW is just an easy escape fantasy right now to someone (my W) who wants things to be easy right now -- OW is an easy escape fantasy for someone who is in a very selfish and rebellious stage right now. One day -- I hope -- W will wake up and realize all of this :-)