Sorry for your pain, Jan. This is all really new for you. It's a huge adjustment and especially with two young children. You must be exhausted! While we each must own our responsibility in the end of any relationship, the reality is that one person made the choice to step outside the sanctity of that bond...and it wasn't you! Often the ex wants be "friends",which helps alleviate their guilt and by pushing that they are negating the feelings that their choice has inflicted on the other party. YOU don't have to be her friend...but you do have to co-parent. I would concentrate on building a healthy co-parenting partnership. Whatever the issues between you were it's the kids that matter the most now. If a friendship ever takes hold it will do so through what happens in building the co-parenting roles. You might just say that you aren't ready to be "friends" but you are ready to co-parent together. You have the right to heal in your own way and in your own time. Your partner chose what she feels was best for her and now it's your turn. I hope this helps.
