Strong EA after 2 years of marriage. Need advice.

[Complex]

Got myself so angry that she's lying again that we got into a confrontation. ALL the stuff I told myself I won't do anymore I basically did. I even told her in the end I'll never be her friend - don't have friends that treat me like this. I am now leaving for work over the weekend. I was never that rattled. Monday I have an apt at the therapist. I'll buy 3 phone sessions here too.

This will be very very hard to fix. I blew all chances I had feels like.
I just want to get as far away as possible. She of course assured me there's zero zero chance and with How I acted I I basically let her know that she is completely right. And I don't see a way to fix what I did right now.
I asked her a last question, probably just to keep my hope going...if she had the best intentions marrying me and she said yes.
I agreed we weren't meant to be but basically left the conversation saying I'll always be bitter about how everything happened, how things went down and that I am incredibly from the bottom of my heart sorry that I was not able to be the man that she wanted/needed.

I was never that full of regrets.

I feel like the biggest idiot of all time. Nothing worked. I'm completely frustrated and mad at myself. Like many times before. I'm not able to do 180s ...

But I hit rock bottom. It can probably only go uphill from here.
I basically let everything out and messed it completely up.
I couldn't hold back.

I need to pray now.