It sounds like you are on some path to recovery. One thing that stuck out to me was your husband rewarded you with sex for good behavior. Later you mentioned that you had control issues. Forgive me if this has been mentioned as I did a brief read through, but is it possible him withholding sex isn't entirely about children? Perhaps he has found a way to control your emotions in a passive aggressive manner by abstaining from sex with you. Women have done this and just because you are a woman does not mean a man cannot do it to you.
Also, it sounds like you had a brutal few years. Have you sought counseling for problems for yourself aside from marriage? I can't even imagine going through so many miscarriages and coming out unscathed! A happy you will definitely promote a happier marriage and mom to your child.
I am glad to see you two are coming to some agreement. It sounds like you are open to change on your part which is always a good start.
