I read something on another thread that was helpful today. The gist:
A WAS first wants head space, relief. Then they maybe want your understanding. In that order, on their timeline.
Opportunities to present unconditional love and validation will arise. In the meantime, do your work to be your best you and make your changes, and some ether in the universe will tell them your psychic energy is no longer focused on them and you're not sitting around hoping and praying anymore. And you're a fine catch. If there is any hope of drawing them back to a desire to contact you, this is it. That thread had a lot of good points about how if any of that is done with the head and not the heart, best intentions aside, it will feel like manipulation to them because we all have spidey senses.
So. My H knows I love him and have had my awakening, or the beginning of one. He knows the offer is out to come home and work on our M, slowly, while he does his work. I know my H is struggling with faith and all sorts of things and his journey and choices have to be his. I will do my best to be at peace with it all, and true to my NY resolution, find an extra 15' a day that he's not on my mine, and my happiness is.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
