I'm thinking that my WAW is also a conflict avoider, especially as she told me that she didn't want to work on the couple when she left. It was too much energy for her. This is typical conflict avoidance.
It doesn't necessarily mean she's a conflict avoider, b/c I'm not, and yet I felt the same way about not having the energy to work on my M. I think, based on what I've read, it is pretty much typically thinking of the WAW in an A.
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I'm wondering if she wants me to resist, if she's checking whether I still love her. But that's me.
That is LBH thinking, not the thinking of a WAW in an A. She is not wanting you to resist and she doesn't care if you love her or not. At one time, she did, but she is past that point ATM.
Sorry for speaking so plainly, Mozza. You have to realize she is not thinking like you. Don't try to talk her out of it. Don't sound like a victim. Be strong and sound it. Trust me, if anything had influence on her decision right now, it would be for you to talk as though you have no problem with D. After all, that would be a big 180 from the message you usually try to pass along to her. You don't have to remind her you don't want it. She already knows. And she knows you still love her, just for the record.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!