We are a same sex couple. We have been together 20 years now and have a s9 and d6. On our 19th anniverssary, she told me she was in love with another woman and wanted an open relationship. I said no and went into shock basically.
We separated when she told me the affair became physical and she moved out in Oct 2014. It is now Jan 2015 and she has told me she is done with me and how unhappy she has been with me and how I haven't been there for her emotionally. I am dumbfounded. We just renewed our vows last year at her request.
Her affair has completely rewritten our marriage and everything about it. I am demonized and everything that was wrong was my fault. Yes, I could have been a better listener, yes I could have been more emotionally connected, I admit that freely and have told her that.
She wont give up the other woman who is also married with two kids. The other woman lives in SF and we live in LA. They see each other monthly but for only a couple days at a time. She gave up a full time wife, full access to her kids, her house to be a part time girl on the side to someone who is married and doesn't live here.
I have filed for legal separation for protection for myself and our kids. I will then decide if I want to move it further along to a D or not.
My wife wants me to accept her decision and to be friends. I don't think I can do that, at least not now.
I am trying to learn from the DB Boards and have in fact learned a lot about being a better person and more open to life in general and letting people in. I must admit that trusting someone again is going to be very very hard for me.
My goals are
listen more and deeper become more present in the moment, and not so focused on the future lighten up have more fun with my kids and be a better Mom
