I spoke to her today for an hour, she was pretty adamant about "moving forward" and letting me know she was dating, and how much I hurt her over the years, which I did. I also know she loved me with all her heart the whole time (she told me a couple years ago) but now everything was terrible all those years.
She says she wants to be friends, that she loves me but she isn't IN love with me.
I did treat her poorly, I put my friends and her friends ahead of her, taking them out drinking while she was left home with the kids, paying more attention to other women. She isn't mean, she says she forgives me, but she is hurt, and she doesn't want to give me an opportunity to hurt her again. (my take anyway)
I realize I have to just be her friend and become as good a man as I can and as good a father as I can to have any hope of winning her back. This is difficult. I appreciate everyone's input and advice.
Last edited by staytog; 01/12/1502:56 AM.
H49 W48 She left 12/25/2013
SS26 SS 24 D20 S19 D 18
Wife moved out left 17, 18 an 19 yr olds at home when I was incarcerated for tax evasion to take a job and live 4 hours away.
Thank you. I'm not sure going dark is the right thing to do. i did seem to make progress with her over the fall talking to her. I guess not as much as I needed to though.
H49 W48 She left 12/25/2013
SS26 SS 24 D20 S19 D 18
Wife moved out left 17, 18 an 19 yr olds at home when I was incarcerated for tax evasion to take a job and live 4 hours away.
Can you guys give me your opinion on Family Therapy? She told me back in September - before she had given me any indication she might still consider me as a spouse - that she would NOT do marital therapy but she would do family therapy. Woul family therapy be beneficial? Thanks!
H49 W48 She left 12/25/2013
SS26 SS 24 D20 S19 D 18
Wife moved out left 17, 18 an 19 yr olds at home when I was incarcerated for tax evasion to take a job and live 4 hours away.
Open hearted ready. I was in jail when she suggested it! I have only been out a month in halfway house. I am not very mobile, I am limited to how long I can be out and what I can do. In another month I will be more flexible as I am going to home confinement for a few months. I just want to know if it is a good idea or not. I am totally for talking stuff out at this point. I don't want to do anything for show. That would be wasting time I don't think I have.
Last edited by staytog; 01/17/1503:46 PM.
H49 W48 She left 12/25/2013
SS26 SS 24 D20 S19 D 18
Wife moved out left 17, 18 an 19 yr olds at home when I was incarcerated for tax evasion to take a job and live 4 hours away.
What does good idea mean? What exactly are you asking? Be clear. be honest.
Because you are were in jail doesn't mean you couldn't have said, "I think that's a great idea. Let's research therapists and when I get out, I'm there."
You defend a lot, there are many implied "but(s)" in your posts.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
