Thanks for advising me.

I catch myself over and over. That's why I'll apply the 180 technique. Ill try to do the exact opposite of what I want to do (unless completely unreasonable) and try to track if it changes anything.
No more talking ..

Me 32 (German) Wife 28
T 3yrs M 2yrs
Moved to US for W
No kids
BD 6/2014
In house separation
Confirmed EA 1/2015
(ongoing since BD)
OM not ready
Real D talk started 1/27/15