moving on

[Ahoy]

bdub, thanks for posting. I agree -- I don't want to damage my daughter's relationship with her dad any more than he already has, but I do want her to understand the real reason why this is happening so she doesn't think that you just discard a relationship with no warning because of differences in household management that weren't ever mentioned until the time the WAS leaves. So many similarities in our situations. I too was accused of controlling everything in the household, even though he never offered to do laundry or pay bills and seemed overworked and more than happy to have me "taking care" of him.

Had a great meeting with L yesterday to tell her what I want in agreement proposal. I told her my objective is to make it look really good so that H's L would advise him to go with it. I'm being generous with money and visitation. However, later that night my H then balked at the idea of me taking D14 back to home state for school, wants to consider keeping her in her current school. I told him that we'd need to be on the same page to proceed with dissolution, and if we couldn't agree we'd have to let the courts decide, and I'd rather we tried to come to a consensus on our own so we can have more agency in the process. He agreed. (For now, anyway . . . I really can't trust him.)

I hope this means he will see the reasons why the move would be in D14's best interest for school (family support for D14, even in the new school, free time with H during summers when he doesn't work, better access to his family during break time, and consistent school for four years of high school). But if not, I'll have to convert it to a divorce and hope that the courts see the logic if he doesn't. I don't think he'll want to do that, because it will really make him look like the bad guy, and he hates that, but I am bracing for the worst. Not getting much sleep these days . . .