How to start rebuilding? - 2

[Hoju]

I recieved an email from W today letting me know about the lawyer bill and what my half of the payment would be. She also said the lawyer can put through the divorce papers now, they wont be effective until july (1 year min separation in canada) but essentially everything will be filed now, if I was ok with this.

I don't know what to do, obviously I'm not ok with this but what choice do I really have in the matter? Should I tell W it's not what I want?

I have no reading on where she is at as we haven't really spoken in months. I also avoid the topic when hanging out with mutual friends and family. I would assume OM is still in the picture but I have no way of knowing for sure. Could she be looking at this as a way to take the temperature of where I'm at or is that just wishful thinking?