Strong EA after 2 years of marriage. Need advice.

[Complex]

I also read Mozzas post multiple time to hammer it in my brain. NO MORE TALKING. I told myself that multiple times. And I ALWAYS catch myself wanting to talk. I was always like that tho. I HAVE TO MAKE A 180.
This is it. I'm mad at myself. But guess I'm human after all and real change is very difficult. I do steps baby steps. Not enough. I have to make big steps, and baby steps in my M might/will follow.

My security is on the line big time too. She's the provider, I'm on a greencard. Not much income, house debt, car debt, cheap health insurance through her job, I need to get out of this. I think I made a decision regarding a job. I'll go back to college and become a teacher. I always wanted that and I left college in Germany for her. I have a job with opportunities right now, helping an entrepreneur, I will continue to help him bc I am commited but I'll go get a degree now. Decision made.
Sry if I bother you with my life details. But I'm so mad at myself making all these mistakes. I slacked so hard. No freaking wonder my wife doesn't want me anymore.
I need to wake up!!!!!!!!!!