Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #6

[HPoirot]

Thank you MCS, 25, Sandi, Pink, Karma, and sofaraway.

I did watch the TED videos 25 and they are helpful. I will find the movie you recommend sofaraway and watch it. Maybe my boy will watch it too.

Yesterday I decided I wouldn't post or visit the forums and... like you said Karma... really just focus on happiness for myself for a day so I could then do it the next. As you said Sandi... a respite. I planned to make it until the weekend.

I picked up a pretty inspirational book my dad got for me. A very new agey story but interesting and about making your own happiness and energy. I got lost in it and doing so did lighten my load.

Last night I also sat at the table for dinner with my son and we talked a lot. He was sad and stressed again. I kept PMA and he brightened and we had a nice time. I want to thank you all for stressing I must step away from W and be happy.

Since W has started to communicate less, I decided to be good and authentic with her contacts like sofaraway said... just answer S12 related texts and calls normally.

Overall, be upbeat... find things to occupy my mind... show S12 a happy dad... keep moving without W.

So I did not hear from W all day yesterday. In the evening... I had S12 call his mom to say goodnight. She then texted me to ask if she could take him to school in the morning. I immediately answered "Hello W. Sure." She thanked me in her reply.

This morning, I reminded S12 to be nice and respectful to his mom as he left. No problem.

Later, I get a call from W. I answered. Looking back on it, I sounded just even... no so upbeat. She sounded tired.

She mentioned that I'm taking s12 to basketball practice tonight. She said she could show up and asked if she and I could go somewhere and talk during practice. I asked what about. She said about money, S12, and stuff in general. I said I'd prefer to watch the practice. Repeated she could send me an email with what she wanted to talk about and I'd get back to her. She started to say something else. I told her I was busy and was there anything else. She said no. I said OK talk to you later and I hung up.

So right I'm unfocused.

My goal is to get to R. My happy and peaceful goal today is to work on my life and detach from her and not hear from her much less sit and speak to her whenever she wants.

I see how listening like a lover through friendship, conversational relationship, and family events is the bridge between those 2 places. If I feel empathetic... I can get there.

Feeling more and more like a WAH everyday, though.

That, and my OW from 5 years ago called me again yesterday. We talked for a long while about the issues in her life and mine. It felt wonderful to share like that again.

I know I'm re-learning now to live on my own... find and grow my own happiness. Right now, my W doesn't add to my happiness at all.

We'll see if she shows up tonight.

Other than that... back to my day.

Thank you all again. I'll get back to do the work you tasked me with Wonka and others first chance I get.