Singing in the Lifeboat

[daring]

Arrgghh! It feels like I have a couple good days, feel like I'm getting my self esteem and forward thinking back where it needs to be and then BAM! I have an emotionally down day.

I don't think it was anything specific. Maybe it's just little things. I don't really know. Monday H texted me saying he had started making calls on the house in FL and finally figured out what lender owned it but couldn't get any info on what we owe. Uh gee thanks for making an effort after I've already started taking care of it. I texted him back I had already sent all the paperwork to the FL lawyer to review and help with.
Then yesterday I sent him a list of all the things that need to be moved in order to separate our finances. He emailed back a couple hours later that he had just done some of it. Then I get a barrage of texts about how I'm going to get a call from our bank about separating auto insurance etc and that we need to close certain accounts. Again I'm thinking- ok you are the one divorcing me and I'm sending you info and staying on top of the finance stuff and every time I do you suddenly become engaged and tell me what needs to be done. Annoying!!

In other news I signed up on one of the less well known dating sites just to see what's out there. I put in my profile that I was in the process of finalizing a divorce and I have no intention of dating until that's done but would be willing to meet some new people as friends. I wanted to be transparent and not have creepy people messaging me.
Then last night S8 was telling me how he went to an indoor play place over the weekend with so and so who is babysitted by daddy's " friend". Of course my brain starts spinning.... Is he dating already and bringing people around my kids under the guise of "friends"? Of course that very well could be all she is. I need to quit focusing on that type of stuff but it's hard.

I'll be glad when I get back to a few days of regaining my mojo!!