OK - interesting developments - First off I went flying today at 1 - 3 (instructor said I was doing very well - should be able to solo again real soon.) after the flight I went to the gym and worked out til about 4:30. While working out I was thinking about calling parents of grandkids and neice and nephew and thought that before I called them I should tell C I was going to give them a call.
Point of interest - the airport and the gym are really close to C's home (about 15 minutes) After I left the gym I called C at home. At first I said I just wanted to call and say Hi and after a little chit chat I told her that the zoo trip last weekend with the grandkids reminded me how much I missed seeing them and I asked her if it would be ok with her if I called parents of each and asked if I could babysit as needed. C said that there was no problem with that and that she did know how much the kids liked there granddad and uncle. We chit chatted a few more minutes and said good bye.
within a few minutes I came upon a traffic accident that completly blocked the road and looked like it would take awhile to clear. This road was the only way home without going way out of the way. Not having had dinner, I called C back and told her that the way was blocked and I was going to get me some dinner near there and asked her if she wanted to join me.
She said that she had just had a bowl of soup. I responded with "well it was an Idea." She then said that she had more and that I was welcome to come over and have some if I wanted. I have never been able to turn down a bowl of her home made soup.
After eating the soup we chit chated some more. I asked her opinion about a major decision I had to make (an attorney friend of mine approached me with the Idea of merging our firms)
After some more chitchat it was kinda obvious that our conversation was strained and she said "I know this is kinda ackward for you" and I agreed.
At that time I really started to feel some anger toward her and started wondering why I was trying to get her back. After a few more minutes I said I need to get on home and she said she would walk me to the car.
when we got to the car and I put a few things in that she had given me to take home I told her that I had found something at the store that I though she would like and got it for her (a Magnetic plastic holder for 4X6 photos for the refrigerator) it cost less than a buck each but she has lots of photos on the frig door and I thought she would like it so I got her two of them. We chatted some more and I started remembering why I wanted to make the R work. After talking some I asked her if she would like to do dinner sometime this week. She said that that would be nice and that she was available any night. We settled on Tuesday night.
Wow - since the hot tub thing, and even some before, every time I would ask her to do something with me a few days later, she would reply, "well, lets just do one day at a time". I would not ask her for that same thing again and I got the idea that she would say that all the time. But this time she said yes without the one day at a time thing. And when I said that I would see her on Tuesday, she said "it's a date".
Seems like we are both on an inswing! Why is that? We both had a good visit! I'd say GOOD for you and C! Sometimes they just need to know we care about them as a friend!
1. had good visit w/ C yesterday 2. she said it was good to see me. 3. we set up date for Tuesday night for Steak dinner. said she was looking forward to it.
So awesome. Really great improvements here. I remember reading your posts just last month and they were so different than today. You are doing a great job here, keep being her friend. Lots of warming and steps, they are bigger than baby so I won't call them that. Question for you, did you start noticing her warming up more once you filed S papers? Did your behavior or attitude change much after that or was it mostly just her?
Question for you, I have been trying to ask WAW if I can see the dog and she has been real reluctant to allow me. We adopted this dog together and since we have seperated the past four months she has claimed I don't love the dog, it is her dog, I haven't been around and shown the dog any love, and she is afraid I will use the dog to get closer to her. Truth be known it would allow me more contact with her, but I really do miss the dog too. I noticed you allowed for visitiation time for your puppy. Is that allowed in papers, not just S papers like for you?
I did not file the D or sep papers - she did all that back in October. She started warming up right after the D was final on the 14th of Oct and things were improving until 1st of Feb when she told me about OG and went into her cave. DBing and being her friend even after learning about the OG is helping her peek out of the cave some and I hope will pull her out eventually.
As to your dog - if she will not let you see him then just ask how he is every time you talk with her and maybe get the dog his favorate treat and ask her to give it to him for you. Keep DBing and she will see not only how much you care for her but how much you care for the dog.
1. had a couple of short but nice IM's yesterday both of which I ended on positive note. 2. have a dinner date tonight w C 3. (not conected w/ C) I had a great day at the office yesterday.
I also remember lots of positives from talke on Sunday - she asked me how my Mom was (C always liked to go with me to take my Mom out for breakfast or lunch) She asked about how my cat was. She stated during conv that she knew how difficult it must be and realized how awkward our conv was, I think she was saying that about herself as much as about me. When I left I gave C a hug and a little kiss, after the kiss she kinda left her arms around my waist and did not seem to want to move them. (just a few positives from Sunday)
I have a very busy day today (ugh - starting out with Dentist visit) so the day sould go by quickly and will be with C before I know it.
