A couple late breaking things on my session today at the end, but to answer your questions first.
I get it, but I guess that I have the more biblical view of marriage. There is no separation. There is marriage or divorce. Probably part of my struggle. The contract is broken, the obligations are broken when its a D. Just my opinion
I agree, that my perspectives are not the only one. My issue was she wanted me to agree with a decision of hers that affected me or the kids w/o even considering my perspective. I'm fine when its a decision for just her. I've never tried to make that an issue.
About introducing an OM into a R during separation, I agree with you on the timeframe. I really don't care about what she's doing with OM as long as the kids are not involved. That's it. but like you said, I can't enforce that.
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So, you saw my stuff above, I took a much more aggressive stance on our communications with the kids. As I said, it was important enough for me to put DB (validation, happiness, etc.) aside and just lay it all out. We were stagnant, we'd leave there with no progress and then I'd vent on the boards here. She was comfortable with me being a doormat with this stuff and backing down from any conflict.
So, just got an email from W. She said she called the MC after our session and asked why the meeting broke down. I'm not sure what was actually said, because my blow up was all centered around a)when she shrugged when I asked how we emotionally support the kids in this and b) when she told me that I should have realized to email and not call her about the plans for this weekend. I don't care, I'm not trying to keep score.
I know MC was trying to get me to calm down about things because I was definitely laying it on so I'm sure a good portion is true.
Anyway, she said that MC told her that she should warn me with R talk and then if I don't follow it leave. I see it a little different, she shuts down about any emotional talk (like separating out our stuff) but tags that as R talk.
Then she asked the questions that needed to be asked.....
She said MC said to her that she's never asked me what I needed for closure, she wanted to know. Also, asked me what areas bog down our discussions.
She said that MC said we need to get over these things in order to establish the discussions about the separation and the kids.
BINGO!!!!!
So I have a reply drafted, but go to IC tomorrow and will get her read on it first. I'll see if I can post it over here.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
