(Mozza's don't read this....l'll get a big "told ya so" this is so not me, but I've been 'me' for the last couple months and it has gotten me nowhere.
Had counselling mediation today and I went in angry, but she put me over the edge.
It started out okay, talking about immediate plans for the upcoming weekend (what she told me to wait for counselling to do) we agreed on that, then moved onto a permanent schedule. That went okay, but it was obvious that neither of use could figure out exactly what to do.
Then we started to talk about bringing the kids to counselling. She asked me what I've been telling them. I said that I tell them when they ask why W and I can't work it out that I don't know, but God has a plan.
I then gave her the picture that S5 drew for her of the family together, and asked 'how are we going to address that as parents? I saw her eyes soften up when she looked at it and then she just shrugged and said I don't know and put it aside. That did it for me.
I said, I'm still concerned that W just ignores my requests. I said that kids said OM was over watching a football game. I requested that they are not around him when their with her (she says there's no R with him) She said, he didn't watch the game, he came over to move furniture, he watched the game at his parents house. Well, then I said, I saw OM's GF at the store. I said to W, "OM never told GF what happened, why do you keep lying?" I just can't take the lies anymore...kids said that he was there for 2 football games. She knows that I can't verify and that's whyshe countered,theyve been doing this for almost 18 months, they know how to cover it. but it doesn't matter. It's just I'm so sick of the deceit and lies about our R and our Kids.
Then I said to her,
"please understand this is your decision and no one else's. S5 wants us to try, D4 wants us to try, MCS wants us to try, but it's your decision that you don't. MCS still loves you, and if this is what you think will make you happy than I am okay with that, but I'm not okay about not addressing the sitch with our kids or working for healthy communications about our kids. We can't talk about them, it's been 5 months and we haven't even figure out what to tell them. That's all your decision not to talk to MCS. However MCS wants our relationship as co-parents to be cordial and you have decided not to. Either you can choose the path we are on or you can choose to try to work together for our kids. Like everything it's your decision and I'm going to go in the waiting room so you can talk it over with MC." At that I walked out.
When they came and got me, it was a little more calm, until she said "you broke my boundary by calling me when it wasn't an emergency. I said to her, "how many times have I called you in the last 4 months?" She said she wasn't sure. I said twice. Once on Friday, once after she cancelled taking the kids out for Halloween at the last second. I said then "how many times have we talked about something other than the kids and our near term plans with them." She said, well you can put that stuff in an email, I don't need to answer it right away.
So now I'm even more mad, but time was up. Then I had a low blow, I said, "at this pace, I'm fearful we won't even be able to stand next to each other at our kids wedding!" It was so low, because her mom wouldn't stand next to her dad at our wedding. Her mom constantly blames her dad for everything and always makes up excuses and lies about things. Well, even when I talked to her mom right after BD, her first thing she said was "MCS, this is what her Dad has done to her."
So the MC was saying to me as I was talking, MCS you're going backwards. But I told him beforehand I was done with this stuff of trying to tiptoe around her, it's gotten us nowhere. I said to him. "I don't care, we can't even discuss our kids, That makes me angry, how worse could it get?"
So then later today, she sent me a long email talking about plans for this weekend and asking about what to discuss with kids about our sitch? So MCS is confused, I may have put the nail in the coffin with any hope of R, but maybe this is what we needed for us to get it out on the table about communicating with the kids.
I'm done DB when it comes to these things, she reached out and sent an email, I'll send her one back tonight.
Last edited by MCS; 01/14/1501:32 AM.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
