Another eye opener. I don't know what I'd do without this forum.
I like the comparison of the treating W like a "sick" person, who came off the right path. And yeah if she would've told me earlier I probably would still landed here. Because initially we don't know how to react and do it right from the start.
Reading through some of the other threads I guess I can even call myself happy finding myself in a 'standard' situation. There are some pretty bad cases out there.
I don't want to look back and think what a fool I was. I should rather get over myself and do things right today. But I thing we are humans and its a human right to mourn before we pull ourselves up again.
In this time get stronger and spend more time on yourself and what you want. Also dress better and smell good. Take better care of all of your stuff. Do some things you like.
A lot of times if they are going to cheat they are going to cheat. Many of these cheaters got "attracted" by the "world", so even if you were perfect in marriage, the wildness of the world stirred them.
Counter this in the future by always being attractive to the world. Do some wordly things with and without the wife or gf. Always be a guy.
That's all we can do and they still can cheat. You can also be careful about who you select if you are doing long term relations in the future. Pick someone with peers who are not cheating, perhaps out of stable and loving family structures where the dad/bf is treated how you would like to be.
