It seems my MLC/WAW has crawled back into her cave for her Withdrawal phase - but she is peeking out some. My goal is to draw her out with unconditional love and friendship.
no contact w/ C so far over weekend but then I expected that from someone that has retreated back into the cave. had time to think though.
Last weekend at the zoo I felt like old times - we had fun with each other and with the grandkids. I realized how much I really have miss the Grandkids. since they are on her side of the family it has been very seldom that I had a chance to see them. A while back I mentioned to C that I would miss them if we never got back together and she said "but you will always be their Granddy and Sis's kids' uncle" at the time I said that while that might be not seeing them on a regular basis would in effect take them away from me.
Later in talking w/ C I told her that I do agree with her that I will always be the Granddy and the uncle and would like to see them more. Maybe that is why she asked me to the zoo was to give me a chance to see them again. (but she did say in the phone call that night that she wanted to see me and to be with me)
It still seems that I am not seeing the Grandkids and the neice and nephew much and I was thinking that I need to take matters into my own hands and call her Son and her sis and tell them that I do love the kids and want to continue to be part of their lifes (the few times I do see them they run over to me saying "Uncle Bob" or "Granddaddy" and give me a big hug. I want to also tell them that I would like to do things with them on a weekend afternoon every so often even if C does not want to do anything with me.
I have been told by friends that that might be a good idea even if C might think I am trying to wiggle in through the back door.
Any Ideas. Remember I have alreaddy asked BIL to go bowling with me from time to time.
I think it is a WONDERFUL idea! Afterall, they see you as a Grandaddy or Uncle. It is not right that they have to miss out and nether do you. Call and talk to the parents, I'm sure they would jump up and down to see you stay in their lives!
BTW, I think you will be back in C's life. Give her time, like my H they are dealing with their own guilt. Patience is the key to DRing! So grab it and wait! It may be just around the corner. As we both have seen here on the DB, just when you think it's over, that's when the R begins!
