Just to summarize the situation to make it clear and also state why my hopes are so slim:
I know the urge to calculate the odds. I do it too. But what you've listed there is not very definitive, nor even impressive by DB standards. What do you think that people who reconciled have gone through? They've been told and have seen much worse than what you describe. Think restraining orders, custody fights, divorce papers signed, living with OM, etc.
You have to keep your cool now, at least on the surface. Of course, you will struggle and we're all encouraging you to process these emotions. But also keep a little perspective. Know also that the human brain is wired to look for the problems, the negative (survival instinct), so what your brain tells you is "realistic" is in fat "pessimistic". Some people are wired more to be pessimistic, it appears, so try keeping it in check if you can.
This is your personal crisis, so it appears huge to you, and rightly so. But I hope that you'll find strength on these boards by seeing that many people have gone through what you're living. Yes, it gets better, but it will likely get worse before. Prepare yourself and believe in tomorrow.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
