This is where I have to come play some hard ball with you. I'm Peyton Manning and you're a high school defensive lineman. It's only because I have time and experience that I can stand here and say this to you. I say Peyton because it's obvious that he's successful but also makes mistakes and takes one for the team when it's not his failure alone. I think he's a great example of strength and leadership with humility. Not because I'm a Broncos fan. Or a Colts fan. (Which I am.)
You used the word hoping twice in consecutive sentences. You're going to have to get that completely off the table. Like a coyote circling a defenseless shih tzu, you are inviting disaster. They can read easy prey a mile away. Your hope will be the blood that he can smell, and it will be a real hindrance in turning this ship around for good. My XH smelled hope better than I thought. And he used it against me. It became his #1 reason to be a dick, all under the umbrella of, "Your hope pisses me off, because I'm out of here and you have no right to be smug and hopeful that I won't do this." So don't let it have that power.
Instead, go into this weekend with an open mind. With the expectation that you are going to learn and be able to use what you learn to do greater good across the board. Use it to propel you toward achieving your goals. Your goals have got to be Mary centric, not H centric. Your happiness does not depend on him, Mary. That's an inside job all the way. So make your heart happier and just maybe you'll find out that he's only peeking out of the door instead of running out of it.
Make sense?
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
