Nero - thank you, your writing is so healing, I love finding I have a post from you ....and everyone else for that matter, you are all so wonderful, I feel so grateful and humbled to have found such a caring group of people.

So just wanted to describe to you what is currently in front of me - as I think you may "get it"

I am sitting in a comfy chair, looking out my bedroom window - it looks directly onto the beach and the sea, the hills and one point that encloses the bay. Today is a rainy day and the clouds are grey and thick in the sky - I opened my laptop and there was your post (nero) ....and you know, the strangest thing ... a small opening in the clouds formed and the sun started to stream through, it looked like the heavens opening and rays of light shone down onto the hills and sea concentrated in one place. Most surreal - like saying to me, hey look, I am watching and listening to you and your questions - you have the answers inside you, you know they are there, and when the time is right ..and not before ... the answers will reveal themselves.

So thats my profound moment for the day :o)

Clovelly - lovely lovely place - twee. Did you know they have a landrover that can take you back up the hill !! I just love the harbour and the pub at the bottom - oh and the little shops and the donkeys on the way down - sadly its become a bit over tourist now with a huge spaceship looking visitors centre at the top but once you leave the airlock its like entering a different world. Devon & Cornwall is beautiful and the scenery so diverse - harsh and dramatic landscape, yet twee and picturesque with little stone villages, beautiful bays and green hills and many fables of shipwrecks, lost souls and love ... sounds like my life ha ha .....

I know I am useless at this being kind to myself mylarky, it is not natural to me ...typical british ..Keep Calm and Carry On lol. I will get there - I have such safety net of support around me - I know that I am luckier than most. I just need to allow people to help me - I have given for so many years, I need to allow others to give back to me - thats what friendship is about.

Shortbread dunked in Lemon Curd omg that sound so yummy and indulgent - especially if it really gooooood lemon curd :o) For me its Jaffa Cakes - I have missed them so much that I have over done them a bit since coming back !!

Right, enough waffle, all this food talk has made me hungry.