Responding Vs Reacting

[Faith2b]

Pretend like he is a Co worker. Is my thinking??? Right???

[Sotto]

Yes, stay mindful that:

a) you're Divorced
b) he's with an OW
c) there's an RO in place
d) you want some stability for you and your kids right now

Even if he reaches out, I wouldn't respond with much. If he really wants to reconcile, he'll show this over a period of time. Wanting to flirt, ML or 'cheat' with you are different to reconciling.

[Faith2b]

Omg toots soooo true. I'm soon proud of me turned him down on sex. He was soon sweet nice. Toots I did great. I was oberly excited because of my move. He is coming back later to help finish. It was just like when we first met. We did play n flirt but he could tell I was holding back.

[Faith2b]

I was scared because of the ro but conducted myself with business. Yes yes mindful of all this above thanks toots. I'm gonna do better no flirtING or overly excoted. He asked me about my weight loss he said are u not eating or are u working out. I hesitate but he insisted so I said both. He said he had to leave by 945. I told him he could leave at 8 because I had to take my daughter and another student to school.


Any other mindful advice???? Please give wanna keep GAL on!!! Because even though I dI'd let him hug me. Also I did like all of this. But it's not anything but a test. I want the real thing all ll the way. With him or without him. Mostly with him.

[labug]

The anger isn't all about your H, there's something else.

My other question was what are you doing to change your work on your anger?

Have you heard of no contact? NC? It gives you an opportunity to get your emotions under control before you have to deal with him or want to deal with him. Could you do that?

[Faith2b]

Yes your right the anger has been something I have been dealing with. It has stemed from my frustrations with career. I have not been true to myself and when I get angry I feel more in control. I have been working on my anger by YouTube ted talks and Tony robbinson. I have been praying and asking God to take my anger and take all my emotions and to make me the master of my emotions not the other way around. I will defiantly be NC. I have also really taken this RO for therapy. It has helped me to think vs react because I can't call him. So now I can see that reacting has been a big down fall in our relationship.

[Faith2b]

Ex never showed back up. Moved more things hopefully today the bulk of everything will be done. I can't wait for this to be over.

[Faith2b]

He called from his work number. He said he meant to call his own phone. Smh. But he asked me to get the u haul and when he gets off he will get the rest of the furniture. I'm relieved but I feel pretty sad now. I was pretty up beat when talking to him.

I know GAL on!!! Please give me some encouragement this has and still is so hard. The more I sit with all of this it becomes so hard. MaNY on this site are still married. I'm not. I'm gonna detach more. I'm gonna do what I have to do. I can say this is all gravy. I can't say that I still don't want him to realize like hey. Monica is the one. The grass isn't greener. Maybe I should accept the fate of losing him forever. To be honest I think I do but hope prevails with me. Love always prevails. Help?!?!

[Faith2b]

I will be investing in db counseling. I also feel like I was to much yesterday. I also feel he probably can only be around me in small doses.

[labug]

Love prevails, maybe, but that doesn't tell you how it prevails.

You are D. He is in another R.

That's the reality of your situation.

Are there Divorce Care or Recovery groups in your area?