It's all very hard and is getting uglier. My H is all about the D now. Wants to get moving.
For the first time in his life he wants account info, asked me for the financial info I made other day. Gave him a copy today.
It feels so much the end for us. I am basically like you now. I am seeing my hope shrinking day by day.
My H seems very determined and very sure of what he is doing. I think his A is going well (mind reading).
Sometimes I even ask myself why it hurts. I can almost get to the conclusion that my "Ego" hurts more then my love for him. It's getting very difficult to find that love inside me, with all the other feelings mixed up, I feel it's more like the broken pieces then the feelings itself.
It's very hard to explain. I feel good by myself and feel bad he is not in the picture. Maybe this is the beginning of the whole detaching aspect. You start letting go, but at first it feels you giving up.
I also feel a little mixed up about my emotional, romantic life. My every day life is quite good, keep doing stuff and feels good this much freedom. But, my emotional feels weird, like it is not right to even think about another man in my life. I guess I need time, and a lot of it.
Hope you find some peace, it's good that you have some things going in your life to look for. Maybe the change will bring you better people into your life. Who Knows, we just need to lift our lives to God and wait on him, on his work.
I was at my church yesterday meeting some folks that are in the process to travel to other countries to do missionary work.
They have four options, Hungary, Kenya, Equador and Brazil. I was born and raised in Brazil, so I could help a lot with the language, english class, etc. I also speak fluent spanish. I don't know yet, just got all info and will think about. I am really thinking it would be great to help others right now, it will boost my spirit.
Keep strong, keep the faith. Time heals and we will smile again one day.
