I don't think I should push or mention that it would be a good thing for her to quit her job - this would be a lot of control over her. This job means a lot to her (possibly more than our R but not our M - if that makes sense).
No, that would need to come when SHE asks YOU what it will take. And then it would absolutely need to happen. Continued contact with him is going to keep her brain all awash with PEAs, and continue to sabotage any recovery efforts of yours. As long as she's in contact with him, she's going to be blocked to you emotionally.
