Oh, sorry one more post. I have a ton of empathy for my wife. I pray everynight that Gods hand will come down and scoop her up and comfort her. To help her understand that others can't make her happy, it's herself that she needs to reconcile with.
My wife is a wonderful person caught in a really bad position. I do realize that these are her decisions, but I can see how the friendship transcended into something more, how she felt she couldn't tell me, the pain she must of felt looking at me content and happy while she was struggling so much inside. How she spent the last year trapped in her own world with no one to talk to. The conflict of being intimate with me, when she was withdrawing, I could go on and on.
In fact tonight, I was crying to a friend as I was thinking about the situation my wife is in. How she's thinking she's trying to find her happiness in a cheese less tunnel. How her self esteem is so low that she's okay with what appears to me a relationship that she is just being used. It's so sad that everyone that would love her through this, she's pushed away. That includes friends, family, everyone. She's so lost and the person I see is not the person that I think is in her heart, but I no one can tell her that.
Im not sure if I said it before here, it's tough for me and pretty personal, but that night of BD; when I was saying to her how good our life was. She left and I sat there myself and was praying. I was thanking Him for all that he has provided to us and prayed how appreciative I was and that it was my turn to help someone else. I didn't know who, but asked for him to guide me to it. Well, look what happened 2 hours later. That's not a coincidence. It can't be. Everytime in my sitch that I've been down in the dumps, the same two messages come into my brain (thanks Mozza's, this post did it for me tonight)
Love her, MCS Be patient, MCS
I thought the outcome would be R, but now I'm not quite as sure, but I know this all is part of a plan that I don't yet understand.
Last edited by MCS; 01/13/1506:36 AM.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
