I thought everything was okay.....(Part 3)

[Mozza]

No offense taken. That's part of this board is to examine the faults that we have. I would actually say that if there was a problem, it was the opposite of what you are saying. I was too predictable.

Thanks for the clarification. Ironically, it made me feel more similar to you than ever. We had a bit of the same dynamic at home. But that's not what I was referring to. I'm referring to what you call "logic" and appears to be very obvious to you. I'm suggesting that you are fairly rigid about your own "logic", which is sometimes just an opinion, like any other. I've a friend like this. He's an engineer, full of logic. But sometimes, you can just see him paint himself in a corner and then you know he won't change his mind because he convinced himself that his way is right. He's known for that, although he doesn't recognize it himself. (are you an engineer?)

So that's what I mean, clumsily, when I used the word "unpredictable". You express some logic, which often surprises me, and then state it as obvious and right. To use our example, you think week on/week off is bad, but I still don't understand your reasons. You only explained that your IC said it depends. If that's also what you tell your W, rather than come up with arguments, then I can understand that she feels cornered.

I still can't wrap my head around you and my differing opinions about having our kids exposed to our sitchs; you seem okay with it and take it in strides; but if I were in your position, I think I would have gone crazy by now. We both love our kids more than anything and that's what I'm saying, I think my struggles are based on my own personal principles and where "I" felt the principles were raising our kids. My struggle is I'm not sure what the W's principles are right now and whether things she says to me in person are genuine to how she's acting. IDK.

Can you perhaps explain what's the harm caused to the kids from seeing OM? Describe it from the point of view of say, a child psychologist or a social worker, that would monitor the development of your kids all the way into adulthood. What will be messed up about them because they are exposed to OM? Also, would you describe how you'd go about it with the kids if you were to meet another women after a D?

I'm not asking this to confront you, but to help you articulate your thoughts on this. I'm no vet, so this is not advice, but support and food for thought.