Strong EA after 2 years of marriage. Need advice.

[Mozza]

Complex - Are you also reading other people's sitches? What you're going through is, unfortunately, very common around here. Unfortunately, you seem to be making a lot of the basic mistakes, like ultimatums you can't enforce, rushing a divorce that you don't want, etc. Make sure that you go around and read the advice of vets on other threads and you'll learn a lot about how to deal with your situation. (I'm not a vet, by the way)

At this stage, I think you could benefit from that of Card29 and MCS.

So they aren't physical.

After today's ordeal, do yourself a favor and don't count on it. I'll copy you what I just wrote to MCS.

Also, here's a revelation gathered from everyone's threads around here: WAS lie about A and OP. Don't ever, ever expect the truth. I'm serious: you will not get it. Don't ask her a question about OM. Don't hope to gather info from her. This is one of the things I learnt in the last four months. Even though my W lied about her A five years ago, I still believed I could get the truth from her in these crucial moments of our R. Nope. Look at Card29, vasapro, Complex... In the last few days or weeks, they finally uncovered months of lies. It's just how it works with an A. It's not about you, not even your W.

Something else to consider: Adopt a delay after you learn something new and before you make any decision. Some have a 30-day rule. What you learnt (EA) and what's at stake (M) are pretty big. So it's not about rushing things. Learn to be patient and sit on it for a little while, so that you see how you process the news.

I guess I shouldn't even have told her all of this. I am just so mad. And helpless. She is determined. And I tell you..she is a strong woman and chances she is going to change her mind are very, VERY slim.

Did she marry you? Did she change her mind? There you go. She does change her mind. Try to calm down tonight. I know your world is upside down at the moment, but things will evolve over the next few days and even more over the next few weeks and months. A lot of us have been cheated on and we've had your reaction initially, but now we're calmer, more clear minded about it and we have a better idea of what we can and can't accept to restore our M. Give yourself time.